Monday, May 14, 2012

Unbelievably Frustrating!

Today, I feel like I have wasted four months of training!  I know that is not true but hard not to feel that way after the Half Yesterday.  Totally blew it!  Two weeks ago, I ran this same course nice and leisurely and ran it 8 minutes faster than yesterday.  I handled it pretty well yesterday, but today it has set it.  I am not a runner by trade, it has taken a lot for me to come to actually like running and do it because I enjoy it. I really put a lot of time and effort into this half and it feels like within minutes, my hopes of a PR dashed away and everything I worked for is gone.

As I write this, I can see all kinds of responses coming back, not really looking for that, this is more a way for me to vent. Sorry, I don't want to sound like an ass, but this how I deal with being frustrated.  I need to get this out of my system fast.  I am working on that part as I am writing.

I think my problem was my eating last week.  I think I ate too clean, if that is possible?  I believe I may have consumed to much protein and not enough carbs to fuel my body.  I just feel like I ran completely out of gas yesterday.  At about mile 7, I got the feeling I normally get around mile 10/11.  In the case of feeling it at 10 or 11, I normally can push through it.  Not yesterday.   I made it to about 10.5 and hit the BRICK wall.  My stomach started to cramp, heart rate was way up.  I am not exactly sure what happened but that is my guess, needed more fuel in the reserve.

The most frustrating part of the whole thing is the work I put in and the doubt that it has left me.  Did I train right, what was the cause, lot of questions.

So, with that said, it is time to saddle up, get back on the horse and ride.  It may try and buck me again, but I will beat it (not the horse) this time.  I have to overcome my mental state and stay positive.  The half is over and past.  I will race again this weekend in my first triathlon.  I am not going to worry about time.  In fact, I may not even take a watch with me, still contemplating that.  I am just going to go out and do my thing!

I am happy to say I did get out of bed this morning and get in the pool.  I seriously thought about saying "screw it" and sleeping but I am glad I got up and swam a mile.  I will get on the bike tonight and try and hammer out some miles.  We will see how my quads feel.

On the last note, if you have made it this far and listened to me wine....I have to give a HUGE shout out to all my Live Uncommon team members.  You ALL rock!  All of you who cruised to PR's yesterday and encouraged me along, I do appreciate it and it means a lot!  

I feel better after my vent, I WILL get back after this training.  I know I am better than how I performed yesterday.  I CAN beat the mind games and WILL at being the BEST I CAN be!

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